As I approach the brink of being mom to a trio of boys (boy #3 will join us the end of April), instead of just a duo, I’ve been pondering what this means.  Especially on Saturday mornings.  On Saturday mornings, Judah has been playing in a little soccer league with a bunch of other preschoolers in a hilarious display of pure boyhood exerted on hapless little soccer balls they call “bobcats.”

“What happens if we touch ‘bob’ with our hands?  OWWWWWWWW!!!!!  That’s right!  He bites us!  We always use our feet!”  You get the picture.

Girls are welcome, too, and cute as pie with their little pink shin-guards and ribboned piggies.  But the boys…well, there are obviously way more of them, and unleashed on the itty-bitty turf fields, the boys are just TOO AWESOME.  I can’t help it.  I LOVE BOYS.

I love that they’re happy, that they can’t sit still, that they want to be in charge, that they cry over ego-bruises, that they yell when they try to whisper, and that they are filled with raw, boundless LIFE.

Back when I was a girl, I used to not like boys.  I don’t mean that I wasn’t attracted to them.  Just that I used to not like that they can’t sit still, used to HATE that they always wanted to be in charge, used to bruise their egos on purpose, used to try to shut them up, and despised their wildLIFE.  :(  I’m so sorry.

But God set me free.  He had to…so I could marry one of the wildest men of them all.  And then raise up three (thus far) MIGHTY MEN:  hard-charging, tender-hearted, free-spirited but self-controlled BOYS.  And considering God keeps giving them to OJ and me, I’ve realized He must be serious about how we do it.  So what’s been brewing in me on Saturday mornings is the beginnings of a manifesto.  A charter for manhood, if you will.  Some of the targets we’ll have in sight as we parent these small giants.  I’m sure we’ll modify it some over the years, but here goes:

The McDowell Mighty MAN-ifesto

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.       Mat. 22:36-38

1. We are like Jesus. Jesus Christ was the manliest man who ever was.  He was stronger, wiser, and more courageous than any king, sage, or hero before or after Him.  No one has led a stronger army, defeated more enemies, rescued more captives, conquered more of the world, sacrificed more painfully or loved more radically than He.

2. We are productive, not passive. In our generation, millions of males will waste their lives on video games and movies.  We were made to bear eternal fruit, and every tree that does not bear fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.  We hate wasted lives.  We will rest well when it’s time, but first we will get to work.

3. We are hardcore. We are willing to be consistently intense.  We exercise our weaknesses as well as our strengths.  If we are smart, that is no excuse to be lazy.  If we are strong, that is no excuse to be a fool.  If we are gifted, that is no reason to be lofty.  We’ll do what we’re good at excellently, and do what we’re poor at better every time.

4. We love women. Women are what we are not and can never be.  They are other, they produce life, and they are sacred to the Lord, and so we carry an awe and reverence for each one, even if she will not carry it for herself.  No woman God assigns to our care will be forced to unduly protect, lead, or provide for her self, her honor, or her purity.

5. We guard children.  Our eyes are open, not shut, to the weak and the vulnerable.  Every time we meet a child we are encountering maximized opportunity to display God as loving Father, strong protector, and kind authority.  Every child is a mission field, and no ground is softer.

6. We are like Dad, and we like it that way. We were wired from birth to adore and emulate Dad.  Mommy knows that her boys will at some level hate themselves unless they honor Dad.  Dad is King in the home, and it is our privilege to honor him as the Mightiest Man of them all.

7.  We value time above money. Money comes and goes, but time just goes.  Our days in this life are very short, and every single one counts.   We will not fool ourselves into thinking we have used our time well because of how much money we’ve produced.  Jesus Christ came to save men’s souls.  We’re bold to use what is temporal blithely to buy what is eternal.

8. We have courageous hearts. Cowardly men go numb.  We “guard our hearts,” choosing to feel as tenderly as God does.  We will allow our hearts to hate evil, weep over injustice, cry out for mercy, delight in God, rejoice in triumph, and love passionately.

9.  We are always seeking wisdom. The fool hates correction, and the fool is doomed to destruction.  We  search for wisdom like silver and gold.  We’ll hunt high and low for good instruction and wise counsel.  However, we know how rare wisdom is, so while we live desperate for counsel, we’ll not take it from an unfruitful man or woman, no matter what their credentials may be.  We see through titles, positions, and professors, searching for the voices of those who fear the Lord.

10.  We were made to lead in our generation. To be great leaders, we can have no part with rebellion.  We’ll obey our parents to learn to obey the Lord.  We will honor our delegated authorities.  We know that if we agree to the tension of meeting pressure from authorities above us (either godly or ungodly) with a submitted, flexible spirit, while drawing our thoughts from immovable roots that go deep into the word of God, then we will find ourselves in God’s school of training for Great Men.

11.  We will laugh really, really hard just about every day. We’ll be clear about what’s serious, but anything else is fair game in the great contest to make our sister cry from laughing and our brother pee his pants.

12. We will remember that we were raised in a home with two parents who loved us and each other with all their hearts, prayed for us incessantly, and devoted themselves to discipling us in the fear of the Lord.  We will remember that in our generation, very few souls will have ever experienced that kind of love, security, and truth.  Because of this, we will not cease to preach the gospel, which opens the door of God’s family home to every orphaned soul in this entire world.  We will owe each person we meet a debt of love, give out constant grace, and remember that to whom much is given, much will be required.