• “I am seeking your best, not to be ‘off the hook’.” There are things in parenting that are downright agonizing.  Constant whining, quarreling, begging, or rebellion leave a parent EXHAUSTED.  Because the world doesn’t know that there is a solution for these things, they constantly recommend me-time.  They don’t know that there can be peace in the home.  Peace in the home, however, comes at a hefty price.  Throughout the child’s development, there will be cycles of establishment followed by maintenance.  If you don’t do the hard work of establishment, you won’t ever get to maintenance (peace).  (EG,  So many parents simply don’t know what the battle will be to establish real heart-obedience in the toddler years, and so they live in an ungodly “normal” that is increasingly off track for the rest of the child’s development.  If you talk about peace, they assume you have better genes or luck.  They are in constant tension with their child.  In this difficult spot, Mom’s heart is just barely staying alive, and seeking every possible chance for a break.)  How to get to breakthrough is not what I’m addressing in this post, but for now, the point is that when you see your child’s significance, your heart INSISTS on getting to the breakthrough, no matter how costly or how long it takes.  Keeping everybody alive, and getting away for breaks is not enough.  Minimizing time with the child through childcare or school or minimizing the number of children because it is too difficult are not solutions.  Unbelief and hopelessness dwell with insignificance.  Significance presses for victory.
• “I’m watching with the Lord’s eyes.” When I look at my child, I want to see what the Lord sees.  I want to notice that the compliant one is trapped in sorrow, and address her needs with the same determination as I do the loud one that tends toward defiance.  Significance says, “The Lord does not call my child melancholy or a loner!  I will not be complacent because she’s quiet…I’m not satisfied until I see this little one be who God made her to be!”  In other words, my goals don’t center on a certain comfort level for myself and the family, but on WHO God says my children are to be, and how to DEVELOP them according to His individual blueprints.
• “I am in charge, and set limits long before you understand them.” It is almost impossible for a Mom who is trapped in insignificance to walk in strong authority with her children, especially if they display any strength of will.  If she does not come out of insignificance, either the children will rule her, or she’ll resort to control and manipulation to restrain them.  Whether it works or not in the short term, that road will end in destruction.  Mom has to know who she is and walk in her God-given authority as leader, even if by nature, she has a milder personality than they.  Limits can’t be set out of negotiation, but out of vision.
• See with spiritual eyes, not natural ones.  See what comes against the child, not merely how they react to it.  This is so important.  If we operate in natural wisdom, we will miss it!  We must be able to 1) understand our children’s hearts (”see” them, as we’ve been saying throughout the posts), and 2) understand the spiritual dynamics that affect them.  (EG, 3 year old suddenly won’t stay in her bed but repeatedly comes out crying.  Mom is stressed out by finances and fearful that Dad is going to lose his job.   She addresses 3 yr old’s “disobedience” with a crack down, not discerning the open door to a spirit of fear in the home.  After repeated discipline, child finally stays in bed.  After a few similar situations, child begins displaying anger and rebellion.)

As I approach the brink of being mom to a trio of boys (boy #3 will join us the end of April), instead of just a duo, I’ve been pondering what this means.  Especially on Saturday mornings.  On Saturday mornings, Judah has been playing in a little soccer league with a bunch of other preschoolers in a hilarious display of pure boyhood exerted on hapless little soccer balls they call “bobcats.”

“What happens if we touch ‘bob’ with our hands?  OWWWWWWWW!!!!!  That’s right!  He bites us!  We always use our feet!”  You get the picture.

Girls are welcome, too, and cute as pie with their little pink shin-guards and ribboned piggies.  But the boys…well, there are obviously way more of them, and unleashed on the itty-bitty turf fields, the boys are just TOO AWESOME.  I can’t help it.  I LOVE BOYS.

I love that they’re happy, that they can’t sit still, that they want to be in charge, that they cry over ego-bruises, that they yell when they try to whisper, and that they are filled with raw, boundless LIFE.

Back when I was a girl, I used to not like boys.  I don’t mean that I wasn’t attracted to them.  Just that I used to not like that they can’t sit still, used to HATE that they always wanted to be in charge, used to bruise their egos on purpose, used to try to shut them up, and despised their wildLIFE.  :(  I’m so sorry.

But God set me free.  He had to…so I could marry one of the wildest men of them all.  And then raise up three (thus far) MIGHTY MEN:  hard-charging, tender-hearted, free-spirited but self-controlled BOYS.  And considering God keeps giving them to OJ and me, I’ve realized He must be serious about how we do it.  So what’s been brewing in me on Saturday mornings is the beginnings of a manifesto.  A charter for manhood, if you will.  Some of the targets we’ll have in sight as we parent these small giants.  I’m sure we’ll modify it some over the years, but here goes:

The McDowell Mighty MAN-ifesto

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.       Mat. 22:36-38

1. We are like Jesus. Jesus Christ was the manliest man who ever was.  He was stronger, wiser, and more courageous than any king, sage, or hero before or after Him.  No one has led a stronger army, defeated more enemies, rescued more captives, conquered more of the world, sacrificed more painfully or loved more radically than He.

2. We are productive, not passive. In our generation, millions of males will waste their lives on video games and movies.  We were made to bear eternal fruit, and every tree that does not bear fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.  We hate wasted lives.  We will rest well when it’s time, but first we will get to work.

3. We are hardcore. We are willing to be consistently intense.  We exercise our weaknesses as well as our strengths.  If we are smart, that is no excuse to be lazy.  If we are strong, that is no excuse to be a fool.  If we are gifted, that is no reason to be lofty.  We’ll do what we’re good at excellently, and do what we’re poor at better every time.

4. We love women. Women are what we are not and can never be.  They are other, they produce life, and they are sacred to the Lord, and so we carry an awe and reverence for each one, even if she will not carry it for herself.  No woman God assigns to our care will be forced to unduly protect, lead, or provide for her self, her honor, or her purity.

5. We guard children.  Our eyes are open, not shut, to the weak and the vulnerable.  Every time we meet a child we are encountering maximized opportunity to display God as loving Father, strong protector, and kind authority.  Every child is a mission field, and no ground is softer.

6. We are like Dad, and we like it that way. We were wired from birth to adore and emulate Dad.  Mommy knows that her boys will at some level hate themselves unless they honor Dad.  Dad is King in the home, and it is our privilege to honor him as the Mightiest Man of them all.

7.  We value time above money. Money comes and goes, but time just goes.  Our days in this life are very short, and every single one counts.   We will not fool ourselves into thinking we have used our time well because of how much money we’ve produced.  Jesus Christ came to save men’s souls.  We’re bold to use what is temporal blithely to buy what is eternal.

8. We have courageous hearts. Cowardly men go numb.  We “guard our hearts,” choosing to feel as tenderly as God does.  We will allow our hearts to hate evil, weep over injustice, cry out for mercy, delight in God, rejoice in triumph, and love passionately.

9.  We are always seeking wisdom. The fool hates correction, and the fool is doomed to destruction.  We  search for wisdom like silver and gold.  We’ll hunt high and low for good instruction and wise counsel.  However, we know how rare wisdom is, so while we live desperate for counsel, we’ll not take it from an unfruitful man or woman, no matter what their credentials may be.  We see through titles, positions, and professors, searching for the voices of those who fear the Lord.

10.  We were made to lead in our generation. To be great leaders, we can have no part with rebellion.  We’ll obey our parents to learn to obey the Lord.  We will honor our delegated authorities.  We know that if we agree to the tension of meeting pressure from authorities above us (either godly or ungodly) with a submitted, flexible spirit, while drawing our thoughts from immovable roots that go deep into the word of God, then we will find ourselves in God’s school of training for Great Men.

11.  We will laugh really, really hard just about every day. We’ll be clear about what’s serious, but anything else is fair game in the great contest to make our sister cry from laughing and our brother pee his pants.

12. We will remember that we were raised in a home with two parents who loved us and each other with all their hearts, prayed for us incessantly, and devoted themselves to discipling us in the fear of the Lord.  We will remember that in our generation, very few souls will have ever experienced that kind of love, security, and truth.  Because of this, we will not cease to preach the gospel, which opens the door of God’s family home to every orphaned soul in this entire world.  We will owe each person we meet a debt of love, give out constant grace, and remember that to whom much is given, much will be required.

After Judah’s bloody nose:

“Judah, your face is all bloody.”

“NO, it’s not.”

“Yes, it is.”

“NO, IT’S NOT!!!!!!”

“Well, Judah, you can’t see it because the blood is on your face, and your eyes are on your face.  But we can see it, because our eyes aren’t on your face.”

On marriage:

“I’m gonna be a wife, but you can’t marry me, Judah, because I have to grow up.  And then another grown up man is going to come and ask me, and then we can be married when we’re both grown ups.  And you have to grow up and ask another person who is grown up and then you can be married.” -Ariel

“Yeah.”  -Judah

From Ariel, sitting with Judah working on a leapPad…

“I think Jesus is in outer space…”

Don’t worry, babe.  It’s multiple choice.  Easy.

While you’ve been gone…

1. …did I unexpectedly find the Happy Meal caramel dip all over

a) Judah’s sheets

b) Judah’s water bottle

c) or the duvet cover?

2. …did my heart skip a beat because

a) the kids were screaming like banshees on the patio over a bug

b) I checked on Judah during his nap to find the bed empty and the front door swinging open

c) the neighbor told me she saw coyotes in the back yard

3.  Did I apologize to the store’s proprietor because of

a) shirtless and/or shoeless children

b) children covered in dirt

c) Judah with suspicious marks/bruises all over from a severe biff on the sidewalk the day before?

4. have I coerced extra cooperation from the kids with

a) jelly beans and lollipops

b) a trip to a petting zoo

c) pancake breakfast

5.  Which family member has melted down over missing Daddy?

a) Judah

b) Ariel

c) me

6.  storms have provoked us to…

a) put on kids’ swimsuits and run around in front of the house

b) take shelter in a shed at the arboretum and pretend to be hiding from bad guys

c) make fun of wild turkeys running from the rain

7.  things we have waiting to show you

a)  a picture of baby Moses with orange crayon scrawled across him and one or two reeds poking out of the river

b) a dead bat

c)  a music video by Ariel & Judah

8. someone learned

a) North, South, East, West–and the location of the Western states

b) how to use a sippy cup

c) not to take all the kids to Target without a binky and some backup

9.  things for you to figure out when you get home

a) why your employee made off with your truck (it’s back now)

b) why there’s a sewage smell halfway down the basement stairs (and no where else)

c) why the kids needed floaties for Glorie’s new 2′ pool

Good luck with the quiz!  If you get all the answers right, we will shower you with jelly beans and/or lollipops!  We are so excited to see you!!!!

“Judah is a lion’s whelp.”  –Jacob, Jewish father

We can relate.  Jacob had 11 other sons to take care of, which is something for us to keep in mind in our particularly tired moments.  Judah David is like several tons of explosive force packed into a 35 lb. body.  He’s the only person I know with a barrel chest and chubby cheeks.  He was born ripped and ready to go.  The adventure does not stop from the moment he wakes up and yells, “Daddy, get me BREAKFAST!!!”  Don’t think we haven’t worked with him on the bossiness factor, we have.  And he’s doing great at getting it.  But giving orders comes as naturally to this guy as breathing.  If we had his DNA analyzed, I think it would come back X-Y-B-O-S-S.  We have conversations about “Who’s in charge?” at least four times a day.  For years now.

It’s a trip to spend the day with someone who cannot verbalize even the smallest detail without speaking emphatically and throwing in a few extra decibals, but also needs tons of hugs and kisses.  “Mama, when I’m BIG I’m gonna go to PRESCHOOL and be with ARIEL???”  Yes, and we might have to give the other kids some earplugs.

Parenting him has been more educational than I could have imagined.  We’re committed to keeping his force intact, while equipping him to submit to authority as forcefully as he can lead others.  I understand many dynamics we’ve come across in prayer for people so much better.  For instance, for many young men we have prayed for, rejection from dad and manipulation from mom were major forces for distorting the design God had for them.  I have more understanding for how that happens.  Trying to shape his force is intensely challenging. (As I write this, Judah has brought over a little lawn chair and set it up on the couch to watch the truck video I have playing on the computer screen.  “No, Judah, that is not safe.”  He has tried to play drums on my head.  “No, Judah, we don’t drum on Mama’s head.”  Followed by kisses on my head.  He tried to watch the movie a little longer, then experimented with barrelling his head into my side to see if he is strong enough to push me to the side.  “Hey, Judah, let’s pause the movie.  I need you to push those big wooden chairs across the room.  Thanks, Buddy!!”)  It requires me being more forceful than him, without any loss of tenderness.  Not more forceful in volume or selfishness, but in certainty and authority.  It doesn’t come naturally to me, and hugely stretches me.

Note:  From the time Samuel came home from the hospital, Judah has called him “BAMuel.”  Why?  Probably for the same reason he calls himself “BEEF.”  You can say it loud and strong.

And the truth is, while I get stretched to walk in my authority, it’s ultimately simply not enough for this young man.  Shaping him requires the big guns…he needs DAD.  He needs Dad to be intensely interested in him, insistent on his obedience, devoted to his cause, and consistently disciplining without any anger.  Last night, we had a freedom class in our house with some amazing people of God.  OJ asked the question of the men in class, “Which of you had someone, a father or discipler, who said to you, ‘I see who you are, the unique greatness of your design, and I am going to walk alongside of you and fight everything that would block it, to make sure that you walk into it fully?’”  I don’t think we’ve ever asked that and received an a confidently affirmative answer.  Most parents (great parents!) are just trying to keep their little warriors from burning things down, so the parenting emphasizes reigning in, reigning in, reigning in, rather than harnessing and empowering.  Even though many men have had wonderful Dads, this fullness requires such wholeness from Dad, it is rare on the earth.  It’s something that has to be received first, in order to be given.  So the lack of it is a self-perpetuating cycle.  But this is what God will restore to those who are hungry for it.  Mal 4

Before Judah was born, the Lord told us that he would be extremely forceful, drawn to power, and very driven.  I remember at seven months telling our pastor, “He seems so mild.  Maybe we heard wrongly.”  They wisely said to wait a few more months because you often don’t see the personality until age one or two.  And sure enough…wow.  We also heard that he would have a hero’s heart and want to follow his daddy everywhere.  Now, I know that’s true of all boys to some extent, but I have never seen anything like this little guy for needing his Daddy.  In the night, I can’t comfort him.  Since he was a small baby,  it has had to be Daddy.  He doesn’t speak about “Daddy,” but about “MY Daddy.”  “Where’s MY Daddy?”

For me, this has brought single parenting into a whole new light.  (Update: In the last paragraph, I told Judah not to jump in the crib while Samuel is laying in it, not to to “pat” Samuel’s head that hard, and not to throw the rubber blocks at him, as 8 month olds cannot catch.)  What would I do with Judah without DAD?  What would Judah do without DAD?  The thought instantly clarifies the horror of the injustice.  A Judah without a Daddy is like a pistol without a safety.  What would a single mommy do?  Only one choice:  disarm that thng.  The same effect can be in place in a two parent family, if Dad’s walking in passivity (which, having prayed for hundreds of people now, I can confidently say is a CHRONIC problem).

Sometimes I am completely at a loss.  Panic approaches.  I’d better reign him in now, lest the grumpy lady at the grocery store say, “Can’t you keep that kid quiet?”  How can I possibly contain this little force?  Without the wisdom of God, I would turn to what sometimes seems like the only option.  Even the strongest little guy has a God-given “weakness” for the women in his life.  Think of Samson.  Women manipulate their men and/or little men because it works.  It sneaks into discipline so easily.   “Think of how that makes Mommy feel.  Look at how exasperated I am.  Look at how hard you just made my life.  Can’t you just…???  You had better do that now, or else I will…”  I confess, I have done it.  Ick.  But it distorts the little developing soul, and creates an iceberg of buried anger that is not easily melted in the rebellious teenager, numb young man, or insensitive young husband who is passed to his new wife to sort out…  Thank you, Jesus, that it is so easy at two to say, “Judah, Mommy is SO sorry.  Will you forgive me?”  Bye-bye, iceberg.

Excuse me for a moment.  “Judah, don’t lay on Samuel.”

Sometimes, well-meaning folks get frustrated with Judah.  Sometimes even on our behalf.  They see his force and misinterpret it.  Or they see his sin and rightly interpret it, without eyes to see what he will become with careful discipleship.  Or they think our discipline should have made more progress by now, and they could do it better.  This is a very simple way to bring out the lionness in mommy, although she is old enough to gulp down her growls.  Sometimes I just want to ask, What do you think Winston Churchill was like as a child?  Or Abraham Lincoln?  What about Simon Peter?  Great men always make a stir, and it’s gonna be a pretty messy stir when said great man is two.  And yes, we could do better.   But God is faithful to people who are desperate, and cry out for his help.  We are not joking when we talk about “carpet time.”  Prayer life with a lion cub is very, very real, and the fruit or lack thereof is no mystery.

But God has been faithful to hear our noisy cries.  While we often have dark circles under our eyes, inside you’ll see a bright sparkle.  Having a boy?  Without hesitation, we’ll spill all over ourselves to tell you from our experience with a lion cub…”THEY’RE SO MUCH FUN!!!!!!!!!”

Judah at 18 months - a video from the vault.

This may be a cheesy name for it, but I’ve been thinking for the past couple days about this assignment, which I take with the utmost seriousness:

⁴ “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. ⁵ And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. ⁶ And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. ⁷ Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.  Deut 6:4-7  (NLT)

So…my job is to figure out how to get As Much Scripture As Possible into my kiddos.  Thus, “Mission: AMSAP.”  At home, on the road, going to bed, and getting up.  That pretty much covers it.

Someday I’d like to write more deeply about this, about the hope of raising godly children and the promises of God over our kids; it’s a deep passion of mine.  But tonight, I’m just going to ask for help on a very practical level.  I know I’ve got some mommy friends out there (Hi, Kates and Carrie!), and we’re all searching for ways to write the word of God on their little hearts.  I heard a woman speak so practically a few weeks ago, with a bunch of materials displayed at the front of the room.  But get this!  She wasn’t a ’speaker’ or a ‘presenter,’ she was a mom who had done it, raised fiery kids brimming over with the Word, and her “display” was the dogeared books that she’d read her kids for years, CD’s and movies from her home collection.  And I took notes like MAD!  That wasn’t just valuable to me, it was a goldmine.  One of her ideas was to put on CD’s of the scripture (starting with the adventure stories of the OT historical books) for her boys every nap and nighttime, when they were little. So simple!  She used a production read by actors using the New LIving Translation called Bible Alive. So Ariel got a CD player for Christmas!

The point is, the practical stuff is gold.  So I’ll share what I find, and please share with me what you find!!!  I’ll provide updates on Mission:AMSAP periodically if there’s something worth sharing.

If you began to read this blog hoping for wild adventures in travel and evangelism, and feel tricked into reading a preschool periodical, I apologize.  This is currently my main mission field, although not our only mission field.  Three little disciples who share our last name and penchant for verbosity…  This will not be the only adventures in travel and evangelism we have to share, but in this season, it’s our forte. But if you’ve ever met Judah, you’ll agree that the adventures are still pretty wild.

On that note, I was trying to find some new music today.  Scripture songs.  You know you love ‘em!  I’ll bet most of you will start humming the same tune I am as I write these words:

“This is the day, (this is the day) that the Lord has made (that the Lord has made), I will rejoice…

Okay, so maybe that little ditty doesn’t bring back the remembrance of transformational encounters with the living God, but His word never returns void, so even if you learned that in the basement of a veteran’s hall with sheets hung on clotheslines to separate the sunday school classes by age (a window into one of my childhood church facitilities), that truth will never ever die for all eternity.  And any day we actually choose to believe it immediately is instantly transformed.  How about that for a nursery rhyme?

So today I was searching for nice (free, I’ll admit it) downloads of scripture songs for kids.  It didn’t go so well!  Here’s a sample of what I found:  01_behold_a_virgin_shall_be_with_child_mathew_1-23.

Umm…didn’t go over real well with the munchkins.  In fact, I couldn’t get them to even listen.

But then there’s the Bentley brothers.  I can’t peel the kids away from this, and it cracks me up, too:

They’re on a fabulous site called jellytelly.com, produced by Phil Vischer of Veggie Tales fame.  The Fabulous Bentley Brothers are making songs for every book of the Bible, and they always start by listing the previous books, as you’ll see at the beginning of the clip.  My niece Glorie’s been watching these for a while, and now recites effortlessly the book order.  And she’s two.  Once again, GOLD!

So I’m searching for gold, friends.  I’ll throw out one more thing that I love, and then leave you to hit the comment form or shoot me an email with your finds.  Here’s my favorite children’s book.

I cry every time I read the kids Blind Bartimaeus’ story out of this book.  Getting emotional right now, just thinking of it.  in fact, I can’t think of a better source for a closing line.
“…But best of all, Bartimaeus saw Jesus.”

Nighty-night!

…from the driver’s seat.  I had been introducing the concept of a “gentleman” to Judah.

“Men are big mans, Judah, and when they are gentle to us then they are a gentleman.  You have to be gentle, Judah.” (Ariel)

“Yeah, but I’m gonna be a man an’ shoot fire at them with my hose.”  (Judah)

“I think you mean a fireman, Judah.”  Me

“Yeah.” J

“No, Judah, because when people are on fire then that’s dangerous for them, so the fireman has to shoot water at them with his hose so that the fire is not so hot, so they don’t get burned as bad.  So you’re not gonna shoot fire out of the hose, right?” A

“Yeah, I’m gonna shoot the water out of the hose and the fire out of the hose at the people.”  J

Ariel restates her explanation.

“But Ariel, that doesn’t make sense!”  J

“NO, JUDAH!  IT DOES MAKE SENSE!!!  YOU’RE WRONG!”

At this point I intervened.  I think the world looks different from 40″ tall.  There’s a lot out there, and not all of it makes sense. 

Sometimes we search Youtube for classic sesame street clips, things we remember and want to show the kids.  So around the house, the kids and OJ have been singing the “What’s the Name of that Song?” song.  I’d never heard it, but it’s nothing if not intriguing, so after we got the kids in bed last night, I thought of it as I pulled the computer on to my lap.  I pulled it up:

OJ came over to see what I was doing, and sat down beside me.  The big mistake was doing all this before we were sure the kids were asleep.  I heard little footsteps, and Judah, who’s famous for his “concerned” look, had the most concerned look ever.  I immediately started giggling guiltily, imagining the scenario playing out from his two year old perspective. Oh, the betrayal, to have been put sternly to bed night after night, not knowing what it was being missed out on…well, now he knows.  Mom and Dad put him to bed and then secretly watch Sesame Street.

“Guys?  What are you doing, guys?  Why are you watching kids’ Sesame Street when you’re grown ups?  Why are grown ups watching kids’ Sesame Street?”  He was pained…Ariel came running out.

“What’s going on?”

There was nothing for it, but to invite them up to finish the clip, and then put them sternly to bed AGAIN, trying to convince them there would be no more Sesame Street for ANYONE until morning.  Ha!

This blog is dedicated to all the Daddies who have laid aside their machismo for the thrill of mastering the bulb syringe, explaining proper potty procedure, and finding the white leotard in time for somebody’s wee ballet class.  You are the best of the best.  Happy early Valentine’s Day.

OJ is a master of literally millions of things…you name it, he’s probably good at it.  Preaching, computers, games, OT trivia, painting cars, discipling kiddos, poetry (although it’s been awhile since he had leisure time for that…), and to top it off, he is a whiz in the kitchen!!!  Ask anyone who made the best fwamburger they ever had, and hands down it will be OJ, if they’ve ever had a fwamburger made by OJ.  Yep, there aren’t many things that OJ can’t master, but if I had to pick one, it might be best termed suave, pronounced with an “ay” sound at the end. OJ’s not super-duper suave.  He’s a man’s man.  He will never (thank God) be accused of being a metrosexual, asked to recommend a great dj, or given the Cosmo design award (if there is one).

Case in point:  I have bought OJ cologne in the past.  By “in the past” I mean, during our marriage.  I liked it okay, and it was not a big investment.  That would have been dumb.  To make a big investment, I mean.  Either because he might not have liked it, or because spending alot of money on men’s cologne is just dumb.  I do have an opinion on that, but I’ll respect your right to disagree.  Anyway, he never wore it.  I don’t think he ever thought to.  It just didn’t occur to him.

But having three kids by the age of thirty does funny things to you.  You realize, in your few coherent moments of non-child reality, that the aging process is going about 43 times faster than you think it’s supposed to.  This may happen while you are walking through the drug store.  Perhaps your youth flashes before your eyes as you accidentally catch a glimpse of yourself in the little reading glasses mirror.  And you think, “Who is that bedraggled person?  They need some sleep.”  Then you realize that it is you.  And you may quickly return to the task at hand (”Now where do they keep the pedialyte?”), or you may stand in front of the reading glasses display and think for a moment.  As you think, you may be singing along to the Classics playing over the radio.  Hopefully, not enough synapses are firing for you to realize that your high school songs are now on the “classics” station, and that is why you are singing along.  It would just be too much at one time.

Or, it could be that at that fateful moment, you catch a glimpse of a sporty yet mature figure beckoning to you to share in some of his manly magnetism from the nearby Old Spice kiosk.  I think that may be what happened to OJ.  Anyway, he came home that night with, you guessed it, that masculine equivalent of Jean Nate, that “Is that your grandpa that just walked by?” mysterious scent, the clean, classic Old Spice.

Now, I’m generally of the attitude that if my hubby likes it, then I like it.  Because I just like him…that much.  But I knew in that moment the whiff hit my brain, that if I acted excited about the Old Spice, it would be a downright farce, and totally immoral.  It was a marriage tester, that moment.  The stuff hit the fan, as it were.  I had to be honest.  “Is that Old Spice I smell?”  I won’t relate the painful moments after that.  I felt awful.  I wanted to like it, just for the sake of this manliest of men, my husband, a king in a world of guys…testing out the concept of cologne.  I wanted to encourage, bolster, and support, but I couldn’t.  I sought for words to heal his wounds.  But there were none.  Eventually, we just held each other.

This is getting kind of long.  The end of the funny story is that Ariel came into our bathroom this morning while I was getting ready for church.  She knocked some stuff over (it’s a tiny bathroom), and came across the O.S. in picking it up.  “Mmm…” she said.  “This smells good.”  Wow!  A chance to encourage OJ!  I was so glad someone could genuinely endorse his choice, in the innocence of youth!  I sent her off,  saying,

“That’s Daddy’s cologne!  Go tell him you like it!”    And listened to hear it go down.

“Daddy, your colon smells good!” I heard her yell as she hunts him down.  It was enough for OJ.  A minute later, he appeared…  “See?  Did you hear what Ariel said?”  He then offered some to her, for her special church toilette, at which I had to draw the line.  She was readily accepting, when I intervened.  “Please do not put Old Spice on my little girl.”  Words I never thought I would have to say, and hope to never say again.

All that to say, I think I may have a bead on the perfect gift for Valentine’s Day, for the most wonderful, handsome, extraordinary husband in the world.  I’ll be keeping my eyes peeled for the right sporty yet mature figure, advertising a scent that leaves a lasting impression.  Something that says, “If you like Football, you’ll love Pigskin.”  Or, “If you like Hot Wings, you’ll love Sizzlin’ Stix.”  Something that just yells, OJ!!! BUT NOT SIMPSON!!!  Yep, it’s out there, and I’m gonna find it.

…my little children, for whom I am again in the anguish of childbirth until Christ is formed in you!  Gal 4:9

What does it really take to parent?  What does it mean to offer consecrated children unto the Lord?  Is it a baby dedication service with our best outfits?  I believe those are powerful and meaningful, but they’re like a wedding.  The vows are not a completion, but a prediction, a prescription, a statement of intention.  They are not just lost if they’re not followed through on, but actually become a sore source of anguish.  In other words, on that joyful day, the work is just beginning.  Birth is the same.  What toil, what joy…what a picture of what is to come daily thereafter.  Until when?  Until the character of Christ is formed in them…”I have no great joy than to know that my children are walking in truth…”

Right now, the boys are both asleep and Ariel is taking a rest.  I’m listening to her sing, “Jesus loves little ones, through and through, like me and you…”  She takes a break every couple minutes to yell, “Is my quiet rest done yet?”  Oh, the irony of the moment, as I yell back, “No!”  How many years will I labor to form the concept of “quiet” in their little brains?  Feel free to leave a comment on that one if you are an experienced parent.  :)  The sweetness of her song makes up for it all, but I know this peaceful moment will be brief, and if I am not ready for the next one, it will find me disgruntled.  This verse has to be forefront; I have to expect to labor.  

Sometimes it’s just in the natural.  Like yesterday.  My memories of the morning are blurry, but something like this.  Woke up with joy to realize the older ones were climbing into my bed, waking me for the first time, instead of the baby’s cries.  He slept through the night???  I should feel alive and alert and fantastic!  Hooray!  Everybody needs breakfast, and so the bowls of cereal go on the table while baby wakes up and wails…maybe it was all eating at the same time that caused the simultaneous poops that came a little later.  The oldest on the potty, yelling, “Wipe my bu-unns!”  That little phrase was funny when we first taught it to her, having been informed by grandpa that children are not physiologically capable of reaching far enough to clean themselves until a much later age.  Not so funny anymore.  The second was walking around in denial, claiming the far-reaching stench was not from him…and the third, announcing without words his urgent need for freedom…  All at the same time.  

Shortly thereafter,  I remember sitting in my nursing chair, calling #2 over to me.  He’s potty training, a notion that is reinforced every time we have to change one of those bombs, and so running around in training pants.  I thought maybe the pants were wet…confirmed when he came near.  I tell him we’ll change them as soon as I’m done.  He tells me they’re not wet.  Next thing I know, I’m waking up seated in the nursing chair, saying, “Oh…gotta change the training pants…”  I don’t know how much time had passed.  So much for feeling alert and fantastic.  Coffee anyone?  I’ll stop there.  I would call that labor.  

But all the while there’s a much deeper labor going on my heart, through the exhaustion, exhilaration, hysteria (our kids are so funny, I cannot begin to describe it…), there’s a groaning deep in my spirit, constantly crying out to the Lord…Oh, God.  How?  Oh, God.  Let the character of Christ be formed in my children.  Oh, God, my hope is in you.  You said you would give wisdom liberally to anyone who asks.  Oh, God.  Pierce their hearts with this little verse.  Oh, God, make this spanking effective to yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness.  Oh, God, forgive me for my exasperation.  Oh, God, they are yours, yours, yours.  I can’t do this.  But you said whatever is done for the least of these, I do for you.  So here goes, my act of worship.  This diaper change for You, this meal for You, this biting of my tongue for You, this sleepless night for You.  Be magnified, Holy One.  You are worth it.  Them, transformed to your image, is worth it.  I can do this through Christ who strengthens me!  Your power is real, or else I would still be in bed.  

Well, now there’s a little redhead on my left, and a little blue-eyed boy on my right, reading out loud.  Yes, two different books.  Can I concentrate?  No, but how precious they are!  How He must love us to come as a wee babe and labor among us for thirty-three years, finishing with the gruesome work of the cross.  How loved we are, to be called the children of God.

Arrived 2:21 p.m. on October 2, 2008, after 6 1/2 hours of labor.  Weighed 8 lbs. 14 oz., 20 3/4 in. long.  Absolutely perfect.

Just Born

Samuel makes Mom smile

The Three Chubbers

Grandma

Ariel's in love

Angel Baby

Mom and Dad try to use their picture phones

Photo Shoot!

Ready to Roll

Is this car seat buckle bigger than I am?

Welcome Home!

Signs the kids made

Ariel just touches everything, making sure it's real

Grandma and Lizzie and Annie welcome us home

Getting acquainted

Daddy and Samuel

Judah prepares his WWF move for Baby Samuel...Daddy takes a photo and then intervenes

Judah shows off for Samuel

They're cute

And finally, Judah tops it all off by putting on his own pj bottoms

The title says it all…  I’m in a happy state of shock, very happy state of shock!  For most of the pregnancy, we’ve thought “Angel Baby” was a girl!  Well, he’s not!  So…I think I’m gonna nix the nickname “angel baby” because it just doesn’t seem appropriate for this little “Fwamster.”  If you don’t know what that means, the fact that the little guy is measuring a full month ahead by the ultrasound measurements should clue you in to what it means.  He’s big!  Hooray!  He’ll probaby join us in just about 7 weeks or so!  Praise God for good news!

We had the pleasure of working with two of the most fantastic people on earth for most of this Euro-tour 2008, as we like to call it (actually, I just made that up).  Their names are Peter Mahoney and Erin O’Hagen.  You would think from the names that we stooped down in Dublin on our way in and picked them up at ye local pub, but they are Pacific Northwesterners, born and raised.  When we left Germany, we said goodbye to both of them and sent them back to the States.  We really could not have had a better team, and I’ve been considering the best way to honor them.  Here’s what I’ve come up with…

“Where’s Pete an’ Erin? ”

This was Judah’s constant question.  Pete and Erin became like uncle and aunt to Ariel and Judah, and so I thought the most appropriate “Ode to P&E” would be in the form of memories of the kids and all the bad habits they picked up from these rapscallion role models. 

“He rips the eyes!  Cauliflowers to the ears!”  This was a hand-me-down wrestling demonstration from Pete’s dad that he passed on to Judah with mock moves like a gentle swipe across the eyes and ear rub.  Judah picked it up and this is one of his favorite phrases…”Rips a eyes…fowers a ears!” 

“Rebuke chop!”  This is an OJ original, that has no pertinence to anything except an excuse to karate chop someone and use the word “rebuke” simultaneously.  He put Ariel up to it, and one morning Ariel motioned to Pete to bend over so she could tell him something, and then took the opportunity to chop him between the eyes and say “Rebuke chop!”  He continued to fall for that the whole trip.  Erin got her share, too.  The team took a break on an overnight trip to Edinburgh a few weeks ago, and Judah ended up in the “girls’” hotel room with Erin, me, and Ariel.  He was sleeping in the queen bed with Erin, or so she thought, when he rolled over and whacked her between the eyes, declaring, “Rebuke chop!” 

Ariel and Judah one night were having a classic sibling twilight moment as they drifted off to sleep, and OJ and I heard them going back and forth.  We cannot explain the conversation, because it makes no sense, but Judah was saying the word “clock” and Ariel would yell back, “No!”  Over and over again.  For 5-7 minutes.  We told Pete and Erin about it, and it became a classic team quote.  On the final day in Germany, Pete caught Judah on video by himself, replaying it.  “Clock!  No!  Clock!  NO!”  and so on and so forth, until he saw the camera focused on him, and said, “CHEESE!” 

“Don’t get me, Erin!” was Judah’s constant invitation to Erin to tickle him.  There are so many stories, but I’ll finish up with these fond memories.  Both Pete and Erin were amazing, putting in a bunch of hours of babysitting in moments when OJ and I were needed for ministry.  Particularly, the kids seemed to save the worst of their diaper issues for poor, under-experienced Pete, and it seemed like he could not babysit without Judah filling a doozy of a diaper.  I love to recall Pete reenacting for us when we returned home stifling his gag reflex over one particular masterpiece.  Sorry, Pete! 

We loved being with Pete and Erin for so many reasons.  We were so privileged to travel, live and work with two of the finest people we know.  We heard them preach and teach and, of course, pray their guts out, but this was the topper…the way they loved our kids.  There were several times that we just had to pray as a team for the kids’ freedom when spiritual attacks were strong, and they fought like they were parents.  Pete and Erin, WE LOVE YOU GUYS!

After a short stay in Scotland to recuperate and repack, we set off to…you thought I was going to say Holland, but no!  The natives set us right with kind consistency.  It’s not Holland, folks, it’s The Netherlands.  Turns out North Holland and South Holland are provinces in The Netherlands that include the major cities of trade, so calling The Netherlands “Holland” is a bit like calling the USA “New England.”  Anyway, we set off for The Netherlands and were again in for a huge surprise and blessing.  I am afraid I’ll sound repetitive if I tell you how warm the people were, how hungry, how wonderful the community is…all those things are true, and yet the base is so unique and unlike anything we had yet experienced. 

First of all, Dutch people are delightful!  They are warm and generous.  They have definitively Dutch ways, which they will unabashedly describe to you, but without any sense of imposing them on you.  You feel free to be different.  The base we went to is called Heidebeek, and it’s remote, if anything can be remote in a country that small.  It was a couple hours from Amsterdam, created as a place where the young people getting saved in masses in the 70’s could be discipled away from the temptations of the city.  As we drove through the country from the airport, I kept having flashbacks of driving through Michigan and parts of Indiana.  Large Dutch populations settled around Chicago (where I grew up) and around Lake Michigan, and now I know why.  Flat farmland giving way to friendly, leafy, green forests, and expanses between homes.  But not too big!  Nobody seems to need too much space, just enough. 

There wasn’t room for us to stay on the base itself, so we stayed a couple minutes down the road at some base housing, an old stables with thatched roof, restored into housing.  The next day, the base gave us our transportation for the week, three sturdy bicycles, two bearing little seats for the kids.  The first time we road “home” from a day of ministry on our bikes, I rode behind Pete and OJ.  Judah was in a seat nestled on Pete’s handlebars, and Ariel was behind OJ’s seat.  The weather was perfect, the kids were squealing, and the surrounding was gorgeous.  Our base liason brought us a road map…for bike paths.  There are more bike racks than parking spaces, and it is how everybody gets around, even (or maybe especially) the older folks. 

Our schedule was intense, especially since Erin had gone back to Tacoma.  We were down to one prayer team for the week, and trying to pray for everyone on the base at least once.  We had a few chances to teach the staff in the mornings and one evening, and the rest of the days were spent in prayer, rotating OJ, Pete and me through as the team.  The hardest part for me to relinquish to the Lord is always the kids, as I have so little control in these weeks over their experience.  I have had to trust Him that He’s going before us to prepare good things for them, over which I have no say.   And He’s blown my mind with His faithfulness to them.  This week in the Netherlands was so filled with sweet experiences and gifts from God to the kids, it overwhelmed me.  Heidebeek is nestled on some fields with a centre, a dining hall, and some bungalows for the base’s families.  Across from the family bungalows is a playground, big sandbox, and pigpen with two furry fat pigs in it.  In the bungalows are a whole community of toddlers and preschoolers who are free to play in the sunshine in front of their homes in total safety.  The base also has a preschool with ladies who love kids taking care of them for a few hours every morning.  They welcomed Ariel and Judah and allowed them to join the other kids for excursions to the playground, stories, games, etc.  By Wednesday Ariel was singing a little song in Dutch.  In the afternoons, Judah could nap in the crib in the empty preschool room.  I know I’m writing as a Mom right now, but as we have watched the Lord do miracles for person after person in the prayer room, these are the miracles He’s done for me, filling my heart. 

Ariel, Judah, and I walked down the lane for a walk one day (walks with a one year old and three year old are best when there’s no destination and you’re willing to lose a race with a snail), when a little buggy behind a dwarf horse came clopping up the road.  The kids were thrilled just to see it, when the driver pulled to a stop in front of us and asked, “Are you from the Tacoma team?”  I had no idea who she was, but affirmed that we were, and she immediately offered to pull the kids up for ride, right behind the little horse’s rump.  It was a huge treat for them, one that we could never have planned for.  Their days were filled with things like this, and all my ability to plan out good things for my kids were thoroughly trumped by God’s design for the week.  I’ll never forget riding a bicycle with Judah on the handlebars between my elbows, shouting, “Good morning, birdies!  Good morning, chickens!  Whoa…dat’s a big one, mama!  Big one!  Whoa, mama…we go fast!” 

I’ll put the stories of ministry in another blog, as this is getting so long.  One final story of Judah and his interactions with the animals…OJ took him over to look at the pigs in the pen one day, and after glaring at them for a moment, he began to address them with authority.  “You go over there, pig!  Get away, pig!  You go away, pig, right now!”  We had a good laugh over that.  That Judah…he’s one biblical baby.