In our last post, we were traveling through the hinterlands on our way to South Carolina, and we posted a list of things we need and things we already have.  Well, take the vacation off the “need” list and onto the “have” list!  Thank you for praying!  Really, God is ridiculously good.  He is also very jealous (Ex. 34:14).  The other day in the car, I prayed, “Father, magnify yourself with my life.”  The kids didn’t know this word and started firing questions.  It was fun, and made me clarify out loud what I meant.  It ended up something like this… “Lord, cause people who are blind because their faith is so small to see God show up big.  Use our lives to do this.”

I believe He’s jealous for this.  Even in little things.  The Bible says “All provision comes from Him…” and He’s been teaching us to bring our needs so under His control that He gets credit for the provision.  This often involves uncomfortable and conspicuous waiting periods and jumping off proverbial cliffs.  We often fail to get the picture, and waste our time.  For instance, we spent hours and hours searching for the right vacation spot, seeking something affordable, etc.  But there were some appointments he had for us in SC, and once those were done, He released the most amazing, affordable sweet opportunity just a few hours away near St. Augustine.  The owners said the people in it had suddenly decided to leave early, opening it up just for us…

So here we are, having a great time.  Note the palm trees and the shining sun…

OK, it's actually a beach towel that's shining...

At the moment, it’s raining…don’t worry…we’ve had a couple days of sunshine and McDowells really can’t handle very much at a time.  I burnt slightly the other day just eating lunch at Chick-fil-a’s outdoor seating.  Mmmm…it was worth it.

Switching topics…who’s the church?  We are.  Here’s us, having “church” on the couch this morning.  OJ was helping the kids while I listened to this sermon with Duncan and Patricia, OJ’s parents.  We sang along with the online worship leader and then discussed his haircut.  D & P were generally of the opinion that all the musicians needed haircuts, and OJ and I countered that we had been studying the issue particularly in this young man’s case for the last few years, and really thought his current choice was a good one.  These are things you can do with the vacationing church, freely and in great love.  Also, you can go to church without showering, as I did.

Pat, Duncan, and Suz

They were with us this weekend, helping us to corral the kiddos on the beach, and being generally awesome, generous, and loving.  And helping us to drink loads of coffee.  We walked about, some even carrying a mug in each hand.  McDowells hate to run out of coffee.  We, in turn, for their generosity and love, ministered to them from the scripture, where Paul says, “we do not cease to pray for you and ask that you would finally realize that it’s about time that you would settle down and just do yardwork.  We pray that contentment in TV watching and bridge clubs would abound, that you, being filled with all Denny’s Breakfast Specials, would prepare yourself for Sunday services by pressing your clothes into great smoothness during the rest of the week.  And may the God of all provision give you a roomy RV, allowing you to roam reasonable distances from home.”  Oops.  Wrong bible.

No, here’s what it actually says

“…we ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding;¹⁰ that you may walk worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing Him, being fruitful in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; ¹¹ strengthened with all might, according to His glorious power, for all patience and longsuffering with joy; ¹² giving thanks to the Father who has qualified us to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in the light.”  Col. 1:9b-12

The enemy constantly seeks to disqualify us from our inheritance, using whatever means he can.  Age, gender, marital status, busyness…you name it.  As we pray for people, we find that almost every willing follower of Jesus is attacked by some lie of disqualification, reasons that they cannot be fruitful, increasing in the knowledge of God rather than declining, and strengthened with His power for transformation.  Oftentimes, the enemy uses the voices of those around us to disqualify us.  There’s always a reason the enemy gives not to believe and obey, if not a hundred.  Often these lies revolve around us having failed to qualify ourselves, or even having disqualified ourselves.  Don’t we have very short memories! No man has EVER qualified himself, but through the blood of His Son Jesus Christ the “Father…has qualified us…”  He has done it, and so it cannot be undone, but by unbelief and disobedience.  If we believe the message that he qualifies sinners with His blood, then we have a message to preach, because, we’ve found, sinners are in good supply.  :)

Before Pat and Duncan left, we took a trip to the park.  After lunch, Ariel (our little evangelist) started a conversation with another family.  We all began talking and throwing around their basketball, and before long, OJ had engaged the couple in a conversation about God.  Pat and I engaged the kids, and told them about Jesus’ love while we got ours into the car.  A few minutes later, OJ and Duncan returned to tell us that right there on the basketball court, the couple had prayed to make Jesus their Lord.  We’ll reconnect with them to pray for their marriage this week.

They were so hungry!  There are so many hungry people…they are EVERYWHERE!  For so many years OJ and I have lived under some false perceptions, but we’re so excited to throw them off!  Here, I’ll share them before signing off…

1) “That was revival back then…oh, isn’t revival wonderful…let’s pray for revival…someday there will be revival.”  (The truth is that revival is EVERY day in the Lord)

2) “This is just such hard ground.  The soil is not fertile.”  We became increasingly suspicious when we started to realize that almost all Christians (including ourselves) believed that the soil around them was “hard” and “infertile.”  (The truth is that the ground is ALWAYS hard if you are filled with unbelief.)

Now, there’s some grain of truth in both of these concepts, but the lifeless paradigms that have been built around them desperately need to be torn down.  There’s more to say about our ongoing journey out of these false paradigms, but suffice it to say, we discovered that the problem was with our unbelief, not that of the people around us!  More later!  PRAISE THE LORD FOR TWO SOULS WHO HEARD THE GOSPEL WITH JOY TODAY!!!  Love to you.

Dear Friends,

We survived the great move of 2010.  Actually, we conquered the great move of 2010, halfway.  We’re packed up and stored and on our way South in formation.  The Sienna’s taking on the lonely road with aggression, Dad at the wheel as offensive lineman, Mom making snack passes from the front to the wide receiver (Judah), Ariel in the slot, and Samuel as the chubbiest tight-end receiver ever to toddle onto the field.  Much of the QB’s time is spent trying to get the rookie to sleep.

Go to Sleep Samuel

What do we do with all our energy?

The field, currently, is not worth more than a passing mention.  Illinois in March.  If you’ve never heard about this legendary season…be glad.  Flooded fields, naked trees, brown-green stubble.  Flaaaaaaaaat…  But we’ll find Kentucky soon, and at least our brown-green stubble will be rolling.

He's Driving, I'm Blogging!

We’re headed ultimately for South Carolina, so Grandma and Grandpa McDowell can kiss the grandbabies, and to work on building a network of partners.  There’s a lot to be done.  Here’s what we need:

• A new house back in KC central to ministry purposes
• A name for the ministry, and to register the 501C3
• Monthly Partners
• A location for the next freedom class
• A place to stay for a some family rest and relaxation in the next couple weeks (hopefully in the Sunshine state)

It may seem like an imposing list (especially the house part), but a quick look at what we already have puts it in perspective:

• THE GOSPEL!  Even in the midst of the packing/moving, OJ and I have fun Gospel stories from nearly every day this week.  Makes every day like a wild adventure!  I will share more stories in the next few days, now that there’s time for writing again.
• A full harvest field!  “Lift up your eyes…the harvest is white…”
• AM Radio in Centralia, IL  YES!!! (“Highway to the danger zo-one…”)
• Friends and family who share the vision and can’t wait to go to work with us in KC the day we return!
• Stories of transformation from the last few months, weeks, and even days that are still leaving us shaking our heads…”Did that really happen???”   I’ll share more of these, too…
• Monthly partners and friends who have already given with such passion and joy that we ARE FILLED WITH GRATITUDE AND FAITH, many from just the last few months of ministry!!!  The Lord is pouring out hope and transformation, and people are jumping on board!
• The most beautiful kiddos in the world (except for yours, of course).
• Incredible friends and family that we literally cannot wait to get back to, as much as we love a chance to get away for some rest.

So rejoice with us over what the Lord has done!  We’re gonna dance and sing, hope you are, too.

And pray with us for provision, especially monthly support and a house to move into when we return to KC in a couple weeks.

Love,

Suz for us

P.S.  One of the beautiful young ladies from the high school ministry told me a couple of days ago that she was making plans for college and a lucrative career so that she could support our ministry and others like it.  :)  OH, that’s some sweet fruit.

“Dude, you got witchcraft all over you!”

It was an unconventional way to intro the gospel, but it was true.  I couldn’t leave the store without telling the incredibly talented and forceful young manager a little bit about his reality, about the waste he was headed into, about the salvation Jesus Christ offers…

I have been asking the Lord for “woman at the well” encounters.  We’ve experienced many years of ministering to Christians through prophetic revelation, people who have a grid for watching you close your eyes and ask for revelation, who will wait patiently and hunger for the word of the Lord.  This method doesn’t exactly work on the fly at McDonalds, the park, or the well, for instance.  So we’ve been crying out, “Lord, increase our revelation to be able to speak to the lost…as a sign…”  He’s answering, of course.  The greatest obstacle is really the fear of man.

So I went for it with this guy.  OJ’s helping me to walk in boldness, always about 10 years ahead of the crowd in this.  Anyway, this guy gave me the worst possible response, “What are you talking about?”  But I was already knee deep, so I just blundered ahead, looking at him with the eyes of my heart…

“Have you ever read the Bible?”

“Yeah.”

“You know some of the things that God hates…drinking of blood, sacrificing animals to demons, crazy sexual immorality…?  Those things are direct partnership with the devil (who’s real) and God (who’s real) hates them, because they’re front door invitation to the demonic to come in, hang out, and destroy your life.  Well, whether you’re doing those things yourself, or watching others do it in your movies and music, it’s still witchcraft.”

BINGO.  We were tracking.  “I like that stuff.”

“I know.  You’re numb to it, because you’re so angry.  And you have your reasons.  But do you know what it’s doing to you?”  I jumped out there again, telling him some things he experiences because of the witchcraft in his life.  And then I told him a little of his original design, how God had made him, with incredible drive for excellence and competition.  He was an amazing young man, who will face increasing frustration and bondage and eventually death or find freedom in Jesus Christ. It’s really that simple, and that urgent.

By the end, he was shaking my hand, and asking if I’d come talk to him some more.  That young man has a destiny, and a hallmark card’s not gonna get him there.  The more we cry out for the salvation of this generation, and look at the gospel preaching that was done in the New Testament by Jesus and those He commissioned, the more we reach the conclusion that wimpy gospel preaching and indifference go together.  The more we love these young people, the more forcefully we find ourselves speaking truth.  I think often of George Whitefield preaching to the coal miners with tears flowing down his face.  If the preacher doesn’t recognize or care that the lost are lost, how will they?

The Cross means:

“It is finished.”  Abuse, pain, death, and hell…all of my worst fears, have completely and forever been taken for me by Him, my Lamb, Jesus Christ.  He stepped in and experienced the worst horrors so that every horror can be cast upon Him and off of me.

I am dead to my past, my sin, my selfishness, my debt, my guilt, my anguish, my hopelessness, my despair, my confusion, my shame, my self-hatred, my own efforts, my condemnation, and even the pain and abuse of others.

All of it, all the hell of living in a world that is overseen by the “prince of the power of the air” and the “prince of this age,” is dead to me.

That abuse victim, that neglected child, that rejection, that shame, that orphan  who was identified by failure, inadequacy, and worthlessness, that defiled person who no one wanted, riddled with sorrow and without hope, that person is crucified with Christ.  It is finished.

The Resurrection means:

I am raised with Him in the newness of life.  Immediately, upon believing and confessing, I become…not pretend to become, but actually become, a NEW CREATION.  I become beautiful, able, confident, alive.

I pass immediately into eternity, lifted out of the dirt of this world.  I am given, without earning it, every credential, every attribute of love, all the resources of mercy, unending hope, glory and power, eternal riches, and every resource in Christ.

If yesterday I was a liar, a murderer, and an abuser, in Christ, today, I receive the CHARACTER of Jesus Christ.  I am not a liar, a murderer, or an abuser, I am hidden in Christ, with God, my rags swallowed up by robes of righteousness, finally free to be pure, lovely, real, and fearless.

Through faith I blot out my old identity with the glory of His kindness, mercy, and truth.  If I rejoice in the crucifixion of my worthlessness, I can have value.  If I agree to the crucifixion of my prideful offense, I can have tenderness and trust again.  If I will cooperate with the crucifixion of my fear of man and insecurity, I can REJOICE without constraint RIGHT NOW in the GLORY HE HAS GIVEN ME AS A CHILD OF GOD.  I AM A JOINT HEIR WITH CHRIST OF ALL RIGHTEOUSNESS, no longer a slave to sin, but joyfully and willingly a slave of righteousness!

NOW, TODAY, FOR ALL ETERNITY!

The Gospel means:

That this glory is available at any moment, in any place, at any stage of life, to ANY LIVING PERSON WHO WILL HEAR AND BELIEVE.  It means there is no pain, abuse, or torment to overcome those of us who are in Christ.  We need never hang our heads and wonder what can be done.

The estranged brother in Christ our heart aches for, we can confess to be reconciled even before it manifests because He Himself is our peace, having broken down the middle wall of separation!  The prodigal child, the wayward spouse…the greatest possible pains, we live knowing that in an instant of receptivity, all pain will be more than swallowed up by glory and redemption, every sin forgotten in the bottom of the sea, all restored abundantly!

The moment that we receive we become ambassadors of reconciliation, overflowing with good news…our only pain being those who are slow to hear and believe.  We walk sure-footed among the hungry, desolate, abused, and downtrodden with the news of the King who has ALREADY COME, saying “ONLY BELIEVE, and you will BE SAVED!!!  You can crucify that life of pain and torment on the cross with Jesus and receive a whole new life, if only you will believe!”

This is the Gospel that we preach!  This is the life that we live!  This is why we are filled with joy, even in momentary light afflictions!

¹⁴ But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom^[a] the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.  Gal. 6:14

¹⁹ For it pleased the Father that in Him all the fullness should dwell, ²⁰ and by Him to reconcile all things to Himself, by Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, having made peace through the blood of His cross. ²¹ And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled ²² in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight— ²³ if indeed you continue in the faith, grounded and steadfast, and are not moved away from the hope of the gospel which you heard, which was preached to every creature under heaven, of which I, Paul, became a minister.  Col 1: 19-23

For those of you looking for the teachings, they are now being posted under the “Teaching” tab up at the top right hand side of the home page!  Sorry for the confusion!

You can get the freedom book from City Central Missions Base here or through the link on the right of the home page, underneath the archives.  When the page opens, you will see several products.  The Freedom book is entitled Freedom Class Manual, and we recommend getting the Freedom Resource Manual, as well.  If you buy them as eBooks, you can get them both for the price of one hard copy.

We love hearing from you!  Thank you for letting us know what God is doing.  We could not be more excited!

Today is a big day for the McDowells. We have become FULLY CONVINCED that Jesus was talking to us when He said, “As the Father has sent Me, I also send you…” Jn. 20:21. After these years of training, we feel the weight of the love for the world that drove Jesus to bring deliverance to those who had NO HOPE. Paul sums it up: “For the love of Christ compels us…that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.” 2 Cor. 5:13-15. But to understand how we got here and what’s different about today, I have to tell you about…

Yesterday.

Three kids and six years ago, when we were married, we printed on our wedding program Isaiah 61, figuring that whatever Jesus was about, we wanted to be about, too. At the time, we were being rocked by His ministry in our own lives, as He set us free, healed our areas of broken-heartedness, and planted His good news in us. We boldly proclaimed to the congregation (to paraphrase): “This is what we’re about! Slap us upside the head if you ever find us doing otherwise!” We meant it. In between then and now, here’s what we’ve been up to:

• Prayer Ministry: This is a poor name for it, but “ministering the gospel of Jesus Christ specifically to an individual’s unique areas of need through prophetic revelation” doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. Our brains fry when we try to count, but we’ve been privileged to have personal prayer times with several hundreds of people over the last seven years. When the Lord speaks, hearts open, marriages get restored, bondage is destroyed, and the indescribable value of each of His children is made abundantly clear. On one ministry trip, we only had a few minutes to pray for a young Korean woman, but as the Lord showed pictures from her childhood, tears flowed like rivers from her eyes. This young woman had almost never experienced affection in her family, and there was a mighty impact when strangers described to her through a translator her secret pain. We were sent from so far to tell her God saw her, knew her, loved her…and would free her from self-hatred. I can’t forget the older European gentleman who choked when God spoke to his depression and the abusive discipline of his childhood home. He simply believed on Jesus’ power to set him free and was jumping at the end of the prayer time, “I’m free! I’m free!” Like the woman at the well, he ran to tell everybody.
• Evangelism: This has become our burning passion, what we think about day and night! From starting a gospel service for the homeless in downtown Tacoma, to telling kids at the park about Jesus’ love, to sharing with other young moms, to college ministry, to jr. high school ministry…you name it, we like it. I remember one homeless mom who stayed with us with her young son. She listened to what we said with a furrowed brow, taking cigarette breaks outside, and then simply decided to turn her whole life over to Jesus, immediately moving to join a discipleship community. I remember one little crowd of African-American girls who gathered round at the park to hear what God would “say” about them. They were so hungry for a sense of significance, they laughed and jumped up and down when strangers accurately described details about them, and told them that Jesus had great purpose for each of them.
• Discipleship: If evangelism brings new birth, discipleship is the privilege of nurturing the young life into maturity. The folks we’ve discipled over these past years have been lodged so deep into our hearts, we can’t get ‘em out. To have spiritual “kids” who once were practicing witchcraft, suicidal, mutilating themselves, and fornicating, but are now walking in truth, being restored to wholeness, raising godly children, and making more disciples is…well, there just are no words for that kind of joy. We are addicted to discipleship, and feel, looking back, that none of our resources have been better spent than the ones poured into this. We love teaching and training, but that just flows out of our hearts to disciple, to spur others on to fully follow Jesus.
• International Ministry: What is this? Well, just all of the above, done somewhere else. In the past 7 years, we’ve been to six countries, ministered to missionaries from many different nations with teaching, training, and prayer. But that’s just the beginning, because here’s what’s coming…

Tomorrow:

For years, the Lord has been speaking to us about a major move of God among the emerging generation. We see rumblings of this around the country and world, but believe there is something coming never before seen. That’s why we think of everything that’s gone before in our lives as training…we believe that God’s going to bring together all the pieces often fragmented in the church (evangelism, discipleship, restoration of the heart, and prayer) to bring unprecedented wholeness and equipping to a generation marked by unprecedented destruction. Did you know that while in our grandparents generation, 65% were church goers, hearing some form of the gospel, only 3% of eleven year olds today are regular church attenders? American youth are essentially an unreached people group. Witchcraft, perversion, and addiction are normal to this generation, and instead of being the greatest exporter of missions, we are now the greatest exporter of pornography, secular humanism, and materialism. Our nation is now outdoing the unevangelized nations of the world in exploits of wickedness. This sounds dire…because it is.

BUT God is not intimidated. In fact, He’s never been intimidated by sin or brokenness or statistics. On the contrary, we’ve been astonished to learn how tenderly His heart is yearning for all His little ones, His lost sheep, and how little concern He has what for what kind of mire they are in, because the blood of His Son Jesus will wash it all away! We see this generation in the story of the sinful woman in Luke 7, having an extravagant love for the Savior because they will have been forgiven much. But “how then shall they call on Him in whom they have not believed? And how shall they believe in Him of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach unless they are sent? As it is written:
“ How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the gospel of peace,
Who bring glad tidings of good things!” Rom. 10:14-15

Which brings us back to:

Today:

For these past seven years since leaving the army, OJ has operated our small business. His hard work ensured our financial needs were taken care of, so we could obey as God added babies, seminary, travel, and all the ministry described above to the schedule. Until now, just about every bit of ministry we’ve done has been on our time and our dime, which taught us this: there is no such thing as “ours!” It all belongs to Him! During these years split between the marketplace and ministry, we are so glad to have learned things we couldn’t have learned any other way: hard work, perseverance, total marriage teamwork, and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit to ensure all the kids’ needs are abundantly met. But today, it’s become clear that the need is too great, and we simply must devote all our time to ministry, particularly to the emerging generation.

We thought of all sorts of great solutions to allow us to go into full-time ministry and support ourselves, but God did not care for our good ideas. He has essentially shut every one of them down, and we finally realized this is why: “…how shall they preach unless they are sent?” He’s been gently informing us that we are not the only ones who are burdened for this generation and the gospel, that there are many on this team! It took us awhile to get this idea into our heads; sorry for being slow on the uptake!

We are asking you, if you share this desire, to SEND us to this next generation. OJ has already stopped working full-time out of obedience, and there are more requests for prayer and opportunities to teach than we can keep up with. We’re sending this because we know that God is causing some hearts to leap. If what we’re talking about makes your heart skip a beat, then we want to hear from you! This is the whole church’s calling, and we want to stir up everyone to be ready to care for the new converts God will bring in through the MANY preachers He is sending to the field. We love to share the vision, train, and minister for this purpose! In the immediate, we need a team of partners praying for us, encouraging us, and helping to finance this work. Please consider if the Lord would have you SEND us; we’re dying to go!

…since I’ve written a post.  I haven’t known how to put on paper what’s been going on in our hearts and home.  A couple months ago, OJ and I began a season of fasting and prayer in desperation…just desperation to get the message inside of us out.  Sometimes it seems lodged there, somewhere between the gut and the tongue, sometimes causing indigestion.  We’ve had lots of conversations, and some just FLY.  And others just seem so awkward, like we’re trying to talk around our feet as they are permanently lodged in our mouths.  Feel free to picture that for your own amusement.

Here’s what we’ve been talking about.  THE GOSPEL.  Is it, or is it not, the answer to every single one of your problems, my problems, and your neighbors problems?  OJ and I are contending that it is.  Contend with whom?  Well, here’s the catch.  Contention always comes with those who most agree with us.  Stick with me for a minute.  Recently I was beginning to introduce a woman to the Lord, and i told her in the middle of other sentences, “God loves you.”  Before I could go on, she murmured, “I know…”  as if that was already covered.  I looked at her with her sad face, tired eyes, and hopeless demeanor, and shot back immediately, “No, you don’t.”  There was nothing argumentative in it, whatsoever.  It was a simple statement of the most obvious fact at that moment.  If there’s anything that this precious lost one did not KNOW, it was that God LOVES her.  Because if God really LOVES her, then…well, a child could figure it out…her problems are solved.  Imagine a woman being pursued by suitors.  If an illiterate foreigner in a far away land loves her, that’s nice, but there are some obvious problems.  Or if a mentally unstable janitor with iffy residence history loves her, there may be some kinks to work out in her life plan.  Or if a  workaholic businessman with a summer bungalow and hallitosis loves her, there could still be significant worries.  You get the picture.  But if GOD loves her, what exactly does she have to worry about?  And so it was very easy to say, “No, you don’t know that God loves you.”

Everybody has problems and the world is full of destruction.  And so, as we know from the Christmas story, God had thousands of angels show up to fill the sky and make it ring out with the news…the NEWS…THE NEWS THAT GOD WAS, RIGHT THEN, BRINGING PEACE TO MEN.  The news that as much as humanity has proved itself the guiltiest possible race, having reveled in every crime imaginable in every corner of creation over and over and over again…just when it seemed creation could no longer put up with the unutterable wickedness that is our human history, God announces GOODWILL, the unthinkable.  Jesus, our peace.  Our PEACE.  Either He is or He isn’t.  I’m telling the lost that He is.  But most of us are still praying for peace, as if someday they will find it.  JOY TO THE WORLD!!!  Either that’s what came or it didn’t.  But why are we still hoping to someday find joy?  Where is the joy?  DId Jesus come, or are we still praying for that?  Life abundant, rivers of living water, everlasting life…these are the things that Jesus said we would have if we come to Him.  He also healed the diseases of all who came.  These are Jesus’ words, not mine!  Jesus didn’t make an invitation to come to Him, so we could join the club that prays for peace, and tries to have joy, and wishes they were more loving.  He spoke simply to simple people (these quotes are from Jn 3,4,5):

He who believes in the Son has everlasting life…

He who believes in Him is not condemned…

You must be born again (born of the Spirit).

…whoever believes in Him should not perish…

…Whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst.

…he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life.

OJ and I began to confront the questions raised by Mark 16 and Jn 14:12-14, where the Lord talks about the works that will follow those who believe.  But here’s what really came up for us when we got honest, was that while the works Jesus mentions expose our unbelief because they are tangible evidence, the unbelief is really rooted much, much deeper than that.  When it comes to the basics of the GOSPEL, (take for instance the quotes above), we have so much unbelief.  The unbelief is so deep, so pervasive.  Because if we have been born again, given everlasting life, are not condemned, don’t miss how simple this is…we should not be perishing.  We should not be thirsty.  We should not be dying, because we’ve passed into life.  But most of the time, we find ourselves getting together seeking some water for our thirst, praying over all that’s perishing in our lives, and feeling condemned.  For goodness’ sake, the only people I’ve ever heard talk about feeling condemned are Christians!  These are the issues we can claim to believe without ever realizing that we don’t, at least not fully.  Unless someone confronts the distance between the EVERLASTING WORDS OF LIFE that we say we believe, but come drivelling out of our mouths powerlessly as religious platitudes.  Unless someone does like I did for my unsaved friend with the sad face who claimed to know that God loves her.  “No, you don’t.”

So for OJ and me, we’ve decided to jump in fully.  To say to ourselves, “What exactly is the problem?”  Is it not simply that in some way, we do not believe Jesus?  Because how sad?  How angry?  How to feel like a failure?  How to be hopeless?  How?  If even one of those statements Jesus said is even only mostly true, how do we live in sorrow, depression, and anxiety?  What exactly is the problem?

Jesus is so clear.  so simple.  “Why are you afraid?” He asks the men on boat as the storm throws water into the boat.  He is LORD.  He is LORD.  He is LORD.  What problem?  What disappointment?  What failure?  What sorrow?  What anxiety?  He is LORD.  There is only one problem:  it is unbelief.

Final note:  trying to believe is not the same as believing.  A simple way to know if we believe is to survey our life to find out how much of it depends on God being real.  Like if God’s not real, it will go bust.  The heroes of faith Jesus thought worth mentioning in the NT (thinking of Bartimaeus, the woman with the issue of blood, the lepers…note the common thread of desperation) held NOTHING together.  These were folks who were so unable to cope with the extent of their perishing that if Jesus was not real, they were done for.  One of the greatest obstacles to true faith is a lack of desperation.  When we can cope with the level to which we are experiencing perishing (be it marriages, our children, our finances, our health, our heart-brokenness) ourselves, then we can throw prayers of unbelief out all day long.  But when we can’t go on any further unless He breaks through, when we actually need Him to be real…this is where we find faith.  God bless you!